<pleasures of conformity>

by SARA MATSON

tumbling off my fingertips like
summer raspberries
ants crawl up my limbs
in search of decay

ur name
comprised of fuchsia sequins
in the daytime

classical
we situate between smoke +
liquor
the intoxication of familiarity 
as i grunt at ur
honey almond ass

illusory piss sparkling against
tanned wool
like watching my 20s splattered inside 
a luxe limo
going back without leaving

DO U KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SRI LANKA

thought (provoking)
tumbling dickweed laughter driving
white death with
a slightly better haircut

these precious
poreless babes
piercing piercing flesh piercing
make me ur romalian type
sweating in boardrooms
we find laughter in slaughter
seek the ache between gums

    i always forget
    he kills the dog

don’t u want that glow
the empty blue ?
i want to live inside it
breathe sterility into every cell

porklime jello is still now
newsprint reflection 
it makes me wonder
if this is how i would do it— 

the pleasures of conformity
feed me a stray cat,
my beautiful creature
sliding out of skin + death
slick with want
name dropping all the greats,
i still make these moves—

   fake phonecalls
   nicknames
   dinner
   two first names
   reflective bones

the earth opens up +
swallows 
slow rolling the end 
of the end
curated + nervous
desperate but bored but
interested  desirable

      we know but don’t
      know but we
      know

intimacy splashed against candy 
striped walls
kiss my wrists to ur 
quivering mouth
wash the leather
untethered glow
showcasing my prismatic eye

can u keep it down
i’m trying to do drugs

i pick out who i’d be
always a club kid
party goer
effortless vixen
luxe hooker,
hair in my breast pocket

meat
bones
+ a great haircut
mirroring the taste of the cold spoon
against duct tape trigger finger

my boy next door

brown eyeliner 
i remain a bruised peach
in strapless calvin klein
breathing the air u left behind
hot lungs

masterful

u recognize—
surgery after last time
new skin after last time
call a lawyer after last time
red curl red top lip
red sheets + drug wine
patent leather ballads

   we can always empathize
   with ourselves

it becomes serious here,
fearful
the break

i imagine he bit into her like an apple
sweet + grainy

growled catchphrase
setting off every alarm 
on the block
pressing forward,
the same but different
all bullets are used

i’ve cried in elevators before
examined the sky for helicopters
wet skin worn wet
thirsty leather phone call
of course it’s horror
back in the shower with that beautiful
      neck
ephemeral briefcase
sliding against the wall
a tool
masked + painted
+ in the freezer

crushing aspirin in ur molars
remember payphones?
remember being so fucking sad?

an elegant snoop in cashmere
is never surprised
get a res
loose
that’s fabulous,
that’s right
spineless lightweight 
amusing 
      STOP

green eyes brown eyes green eyes
sitting on top of my dresser
i can’t make myself any clearer
   unreliable 
in stripes + shine
just a happy camper

this is not an exit

i want no one to escape
this confession
      has meant nothing

inspired by
American Psycho written by Bret Easton Ellis

American Psycho (2000) directed by Mary Harron, screenplay by Mary Harron and Guinevere Turner